Fears of radiation poisoning turn out to be entirely unfounded.

Aside from the third arm now growing out of my back.

Actually, the time spent in semi-seclusion isn't that bad at all. It's not quite what I expected, I must say. Based on my reaction to the first tositumomab infusion (namely, none), I expected I'd be able to get my radioactive dose, head to the Flathead Valley, and dance the entire Nutcracker Suite unimpeded.

Which is rather strange, since I've never danced ballet before.

The first three or four days, I have what I'd describe as fairly mild flu-like symptoms, most notably all-over body aches, nausea, and a general feeling of I-don't-want-to-sit-up-for-more-than-three-minutes-at-a-time.

Between days four and five, the body aches subside, but the slight nausea/queasiness mildly persists. Even today, nine days after my radioactive infusion, I have no desire to eat Reese's Peanut Butter Cups (let alone Junior Mints) or barbecued ribs. Those who know me know there's something wrong when I can't eat peanut butter or pork.

Still, that's really as bad as the recovery gets. And I can't complain. I've met many, many people who have gone through sheer hell as a result of their cancer treatments: tingling hands and feet, numbing exhaustion, short-term memory loss, and more. So peanut butter cups are a small thing to sacrifice.

Also during this time, I think I feel a general tightness in my stomach. I have to admit this may be because I'm looking for any little thing, and so it may be my mind playing tricks, but I do think it's there--and again, even nine days later, that feeling of "tightness" persists a bit.

In retrospect, I think all of these things may be signs of the Bexxar doing its work. After all, radioactive isotopes traveling throughout my body, attaching to cancer cells and detonating, are bound to have some effect. Hence, the body aches and nausea. And because my swollen nodes are concentrated in my abdominal area (the mesenteric and para-aortic node regions, for you med-speak geeks), well, why not have a little tightness in the general abdomen? If the Bexxar's going to work on cancer cells there, having a bit of tightness is probably a good thing, and an indication it's working.

Now, of course, the next Long Wait begins. I've scheduled a blood test for next Wednesday, and an appointment with my local oncologist next Thursday. We'll talk about weekly blood tests for the next several weeks, and when to do the next set of scans to judge the treatment's effect.

But oddly enough, I'm not nearly as cranked up about the scans now as I was last week. Last week, I was worried about when to do them: after a month or so, to get an idea of if the treatment is working? After three months, to get a clearer picture? After six months, to get the most accurate picture? All those were important questions last week--and I suppose they may become more important again as my obsessive/compulsive tendencies kick in--but today, back safe and sound in my own home after radioactive exile, those are things still best left to the long, unknowable future ahead of me.

For now, I'm happy to have the treatment behind me, and a whole new set of "what ifs" ahead of me. Even if one of those "what ifs" is: "What if I can't eat barbecued ribs anymore?"