TLHines.com: Mr. Rotramel, thanks for agreeing to talk with us. Let's start with the basics: What’s the central theme of your campaign?
Andrew Rotramel: The central theme of my campaign is to get me elected. Isn't that true with all candidates?
TL: For most, I suppose. Some candidates seem to do it for the political groupies. You don’t have any groupies, do you?
AR: Groupies? Nobody told me about groupies. I will have to ask my wife if she's seen any.
TL: Good one. So why are you running?
AR: I am running because you only had to fill out two forms and send them to the FEC.
TL: What’s the single most important issue to you?
AR: Redoing/updating the constitution.
TL: Okay, that’s no trivial matter. What, specifically, needs to be updated? What needs to be changed?
AR: You can find out all about it at my web site, but specifically, I think we need a new bill of rights: rights to address the physical needs of the people, rights to address the emotional needs of the people, rights to address the spiritual needs of the people, rights to address the people's need to civil rights and human dignity, and a few other miscellaneous rights.
I would also have some national goals built into the Constitution, such as exploring space.
TL: What will be your first official act as President?
AR: There would be several:
1. Commute all federal death sentences to something else;
2. Pardon a whole bunch of people, including Leonard Peltier;
3. Replace the military's "don't ask, don't tell" with a policy of non-discrimination against gays;
4. Have a nice long bath in the presidential tub.
TL: And are you a bubble bath kind of President, or do you just use a washcloth and soap? Maybe just soap?
AR: By definition, a "nice long bath" requires some bubbles. I mean soap bubbles, not Bubbles LaGrand the dancer. LOL
TL: Oookaaay. So what are you planning to do to set yourself apart from the traditional two-party candidates?
AR: You mean that I have to do more than run as a fringe candidate?
TL: Good point. What I really meant was: how will you get publicity and get noticed? What will you do to attract people to your campaign?
AR: I am not currently trying to get publicity and get noticed. The only campaigning I am doing is having a web site.
TL: We've exchanged a number of emails, and I've noticed you use Tom Clancy quotes in your signature. Are you a Clancy fan? Any chance Clancy might get a position in your administration?
AR: I am not a Tom Clancy fan, and have never read any of his books. I got the quote from a list I belong to.
TL: You’ve said you’d pick Noam Chomsky as National Security Advisor. Have you picked a running mate?
AR: I have not considered that yet. Do you think I should?
TL There's always Tom Clancy.
AR: Real funny.
TL: At your web site, you want immediate recognition of a Palestinian State, and $5 billion in annual aid to the Palestinian people. Suffice to say you aren’t counting on Jewish people as one of your core constituencies.
AR: Correct. But, I think my plan might actually lead to peace in that part of the world.
TL: You also advocate legalization of drugs and prostitution. At the very least, folks should have a good time during your administration.
AR: Sorry, but that is not a logical conclusion. I see benefits to legalizing drugs and prostitution, mostly we can generate sales tax revenue, put some health and safety regulations in place, cut the prison population, and redirect law enforcement resources elsewhere. None of this means that I would approve of using drugs or prostitution by my people.
TL: So you don't think legalizing the behavior condones it?
AR: Acceptance does not always mean approval.
TL: What gave you the idea to run for President in the first place?
AR: You have already asked a version of this question, but I don't mind answering again. I heard a story on NPR's National Public Radio during the 2000 election. I learned that you only have to submit two forms to the FEC. If it is that easy, with no fee, why not?
TL: Why not, indeed?
