Brandilyn Collins is one of those people who make me realize just how horribly lazy I am. Not only has she written a number of novels in several genres (including Web of Lies, which has hit bestseller lists since its release in February--but more on that in a minute), she also attends numerous writing conferences each year as a writing instructor, mentors several up-and-coming authors, offers advice to beginners, faithfully posts on her blog each and every weekday, maintains two homes, takes care of her family and generally seems to do all of the above with a smile on her face. And now, with the upcoming release of her next book, Violet Dawn, she's launching an ambitious online venture featuring blogs from several of the characters in her new Kanner Lake series.

Whew.

I'm tired just writing about all that. And yet, she does it every day. On top of it all, when she receives odd questions emailed to her from purely hypothetical first-time novelists who have debut novels releasing this July, she always thoughtfully responds within a few hours.

Worst of all, she feeds my inferiority complex by being a great writer. Her newest, Web of Lies, starts with a bang--and I mean that literally--then keeps the pressure on for the entire book. Creepy? Yes. Especially if you have a thing for spiders. Thrilling? Make sure you take your blood pressure medication. Fun? Hey, I still have a grin on my face.

So, yes, it would seem Ms. Collins does everything, and does it perfectly. I'm guessing she has an invisible plane parked behind her house, and a set of indestructible silver bracelets hidden away somewhere.

My hope is that she only brushes her teeth twice a day. I would at least beat her in that department, as I brush thrice daily.

Oh, all right. I'm lying. I only brush twice. I'm sure Brandilyn brushes three times, though.

I'll admit it: I go to Google at least once a day and do various searches on my name and book. Why? Well, because I'm a self-centered human being who wants to know what's being said about me. But I like to pass it off as ranking and research for my book. After all, some people might be searching for my book online in a few months, right?

I mean some people other than me.

Now, if I simply type in "T.L. Hines," I hit the jackpot. My site is number 1 and number 2, followed by the WL page at Amazon, and a total of more than 425,000 hits (58,000 if "TL Hines" is in quotes). "Waking Lazarus" is also a good choice. The first three hits are the home page of a Christian rock band called "Waking Lazarus" (great band name, guys), number 4 is the Kirkus Discoveries review of my book, and numbers 5-10 are all links relating to my book: Amazon, B&N, reviews, and so on.

Now then, I just know some folks are going to search for "Walking Lazarus." That's fine; we just want to make sure they find their way to the right place. Hey, we've got that covered--my recent blog entry about the tendency of people to call the book "Walking Lazarus" is the #2 hit, and an old review feed listing the book as "Walking Lazarus" is number 3. Chances are, this particular blog entry might end up on that list as well. And frankly, I'm guessing one or two more reviews might hit the web listing the book as "Walking Lazarus." I won't correct those reviews, because I think it will be important to have a few reviews link to the book with that title. As I said, if people want to call it "Walking Lazarus," I'm not horribly offended.

To dig a little deeper, I like to search for "TL Hines" in quotes, along with "Lazarus." This will give me, I hope, links to reviews of the book, referencing it as either "Waking Lazarus" or "Walking Lazarus." The top two results are mine, followed by the book's pages at both Amazon and B&N. Various reviews and crumbs of my trails on the web fill out the top 10. Hits 11-20 feature various reviews and online mentions of the book, most interesting of which is #16: a site called buch.de, which is a German book site. Hey, that's cool. I sprechen me a bit of Deutsch. Unfortunately, the book hasn't had German translation rights sold to it yet. So anyone ordering through this site better sprechen English, as well. Still: hey, the book's being sold in Germany. Kind of.

Hit #23 is a link to "Library Journal," which is an interesting article about first-time novelists in 2006. No special mention in the editorial, but what what of it? Hey, ma, I'm in "Library Journal."

In all, more than 500 links are on that list, and all of them are bread crumbs that lead to this site (hello, if this is your first visit), or other information about the book. That feels great.

Or, to my German-speaking friends: Es ist ausgezeichnet.

Evidently, the people putting together the autographing schedule for Book Expo America have been foolish to give me one of their tables for one hour: from 4:30 to 5:30 pm on Saturday, May 20th, I'll be signing copies of Waking Lazarus at table #16 in the Autographing Area.

If you're a bookseller, librarian or interested reader attending the show, I'd love to see you drop by and say "hi" while I'm there. Or heck, say "hi" any time during the show.

When you take a peek at the Autographing Schedule, you'll some pretty big names on the list: Joyce Carol Oates, James Rollins, Joel C. Rosenberg, Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, Bill Bennett, Jerry B. Jenkins, James Patterson, James Byron Huggins, Whitley Strieber and Duke, the spokesdog for Bush's Baked Beans.

Duke! The spokesdog for Bush's Baked Beans! I've hit the big time.

Okay, so it looks like I'll be hitting the autographing area more than a few times myself. I mean, come on, free autographed books from people such as Joyce Carol Oates and James Rollins? I'm there.

Which brings up something of a dilemma for me. I'm signing at 4:30 on Saturday--which just happens to be at the exact same time as F. Paul Wilson and Dennis Lehane. FPW will be signing his new "Repairman Jack" book, and Dennis Lehane will be signing his new collection of short stories. Now, it's obviously nice to be able to say, "Hey, I'm doing a signing with Dennis Lehane and F. Paul Wilson." Of course, neither of them knew they'd be signing at the same time as I, but that's not a detail I need to share, is it? But here's the problem: I really, really want signed copies of their books. Think I can sneak to their tables early or late and get books? Probably not. Maybe I could put a sign on my table that says, "Back in Five Minutes," then go stand in their lines.

I'm kidding, of course. You can bet anyone who even comes near my table and glances my direction is getting a free book--whether they ask for one or not. And even though I'm quite thrilled to be signing at the same time as FPW and Lehane, I'm rather certain none of us will have the most popular table in the 4:30-5:30 slot. That distinction, I believe, will go to table #2, which will feature Violet Blue signing copies of her book, "Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples."

No, really. Check the schedule for yourself.

On one of my approximate 3,000 daily trips to Amazon, I noticed the "Publisher's Weekly" review of "Waking Lazarus" has been posted. I found out the review appears in today's edition of PW, so man, those Amazon folks are on the ball.

One mild spoiler alert: the "Publisher's Weekly" review does give away a somewhat major plot twist--a twist most of you savvy readers will doubtless see coming, but reading the PW review will rob you of figuring it out for yourself. So, if you want the general gist of the review, without being told that twist, I'll reprint the review here with the twist edited. Spoiler-safe reading here, folks:

In this promising if sometimes grisly debut of inspirational suspense, Hines introduces Jude Allman, a man who has been declared clinically dead several times, but who always comes back to life. Allman becomes a paranoid recluse in Red Lodge, Mont., where he works under an assumed name as a school janitor; His son, Nathan, lives with his mother elsewhere in town. As a string of child abductions begin, Jude finds he possesses supernatural powers that allow him to see into the lives of others. When....[PORTION SNIPPED TO AVOID A SPOILER]...Jude finds his purpose and his faith. Hines handles the numerous flashbacks and switches in point of view well, and has a deft touch in knowing just how much information to give and how much to withhold. There are a few trouble spots: Allman's battle with paranoia is wrapped up too easily, and [A KEY CHARACTER] is unnaturally calm about [A KEY PLOT POINT]. The descriptions of children hung in burlap bags, chained to beds or caged are not for the faint of heart. Hines does an excellent job of laying false trails to keep doubts alive as to the identity of the serial killer. Readers who consider most faith thrillers too tame should find this satisfactorily chilling.

After reading this review seventeen times in quick succession, I let myself smile. After all, it's a pretty darned good review. Rather positive, filled with praise such as: Hines handles the numerous flashbacks and switches in point of view well. And: [Hines] has a deft touch in knowing just how much information to give and how much to withhold. And: Hines does an excellent job of laying false trails to keep doubts alive as to the identity of the serial killer. And finally, a fine, fine last line: Readers who consider most faith thrillers too tame should find this satisfactorily chilling.

As I said, a rather nice review--even partly because, it seems, the book made the reviewer a bit uncomfortable, calling it "grisly" and "not for the faint of heart." I consider that praise, as well, because, frankly, I want people to be creeped out when reading it. I want it to make people a bit uncomfortable, because I think (hope) that makes the redemptive elements shine all the brighter. And if the reviewer accuses the book of going farther than other books in its genre, well, happily guilty as charged.

But.

In this review, there are two big "buts," aren't there? Allman's battle with paranoia is wrapped up too easily, and [A KEY CHARACTER] is unnaturally calm about [A KEY PLOT POINT].

Well, I suppose to each her own. I have reasons why I disagree with what the reviewer says, but that doesn't matter, does it? If he/she felt those were shortcomings, they were shortcomings--things that, for the reviewer, got in the way of the story.

It's easy to take those criticisms to heart. After reading the review once, I couldn't have told you any of the praise. But I could have told you exactly what the reviewer disliked.

Odd, isn't it, how our psyches work like that?

Still, you can bet your bippy I'll be posting snippets of this on my "review" page in the next ten minutes: "...not for the faint of heart...Readers who consider most faith thrillers too tame should find this satisfactorily chilling."