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{ February 4, 2004 }
:: Coming Soon - Presidential Candidates Who Aren't the Same Old Nags ::
Within the next few days, the proprietors of TLHines.com will be launching a political smorgasbord for readers: the "Dark Horse Dialogues," a series of interviews with presidential candidates who definitely ain't Republocrats. We'll be hosting interviews with new candidates each and every Friday for several weeks, helping you discover real candidates with real stands on real issues. Each interview will spend a week atop the blog page here, and past interviews will be archived in the cleverly-named "Dark Horse Dialogues" section of tlhines.com's vast online empire.
Please help publicize these interviews, won't you? Do a link, swipe the animation at the left hand of the page, or create your own button to send folks to the Dark Horse Dialogues. Hey, if the power of the blog can get attention for Howard Dean, it can get attention for anybody.
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{ February 3, 2004 }
:: When Product Placements Go Bad ::
Closer inspection of Janet Jackson's revealing performance at the Super Bowl shows it to be just another example of corporate sponsorship gone horribly awry.
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{ February 1, 2004 }
:: First Annual TL Hines Super Blecch Awards ::
Awards in Advertising Categories
• The "Let's Spend a Lot of Money on Production and Maybe No One Will Notice We've built an Expensive Ad around a Lame Joke" Award: Federal Express for "Alien Shipping." And by the way, Federal Express: we did notice.
• The "Best Ad Matched to Product's Intended Use" Award: Charmin Toilet Tissue's "Bear in the Game." It was absolute crap.
• The "Worst Use of Freudian Sexual Innuendo to Sell a Product" Award: "Mike Ditka's Levitra Challenge," in which Ditka sings the praises of an impotence drug while a football arcs through the hole of a tire again and again and again. Yeah, a football going through a tire. Get it? Get it?
• The "Trying Way Too Hard to be Likeable in a Desperate John Kerry Way" Award: A tie between "Soap in the Mouth" for Chevy Trucks, "Fight to the Death?" for Lay's, and pretty much anything for Pepsi and/or Sierra Mist.
• The "Why in the Hell are We Sitting in Bathtubs Watching the Sun Rise, and What Does it Have to Do With our Product?" Award: Cialis, also for male impotence.
Awards in Half Time Show Categories
• The "Best Argument for Allowing the American Flag to be Burned" Award: Kid Rock's stars-n-stripes ensemble.
• The "Celebrity Whose Singing Style Most Resembles an Orchestra Conductor on Meth" Award: P Diddy/Puff Daddy/Jigglypuff
• The "Best Reason to Drop to Knees and Thank God This Very Second" Award: Jessica Simpson was only allowed to utter six words: "Houston, are you ready to party?"
• The "Most Surprising Celebrity Appearance" Award: Janet Jackson's right breast.
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