Okay, so he's murdered two people. And, yeah, he's serving 180 years in prison. But should that stop him from bellying up to the bar at his favorite buffet restaurant?

According to a Billings Gazette story, two-time murderer Kenneth Albert Miller was recently treated to lunch at the Golden Corral buffet restaurant in Helena by his supervisor.

"(Department of Corrections spokesperson Gayle) Lambert said it is not unusual for Miller or other cleared inmates to eat out," says the article. "The Helena Golden Corral is an especially popular spot." Hmmm. Now we know why the 'Hack Saw Cake' is such a favorite dessert at this restaurant.

"Authorities didn't alert the restaurant manager," the article continues, "who was concerned to learn Friday that a murderer doing time had eaten the $5.99 'Power Lunch' buffet amid other paying customers." Sheesh, what a wimpy manager. Come on, it's not like he was trying to eat the other customers. That's the guy they'll bring in for lunch next week.

I have a theory. Being a red-blooded American, I'm entitled to have that theory, and it's this: Wal Mart is the root of all that is evil and wrong with America. They pay the crappiest wages they can get away with, they constantly gouge their suppliers (thanks to David Crisp for this story), and their merchandise sucks. To top it off, they are now employing Satan and his minions, as this unretouched photo (snapped last week at a rural North Dakota Wal Mart) proves. Notice how Satan, at the photo’Äôs right, pretends to ’Äúhelp’Äù a customer make a toy selection. So go ahead, huddled masses: shop at Wal Mart, and brush off all of their evil deeds by simply saying, "Yeah, but their prices are cheap." As this photo conclusively proves, you're simply selling your soul to save seven cents on that can of tuna.

Sigh. So it's a Yankees-Marlins World Series. A matchup only the most rabid Yankees fans (who are questionable in the first place) and a few people in Florida (the folks who have trouble with election ballots) could love. We were close--so close--to one of the most magical matchups of all time: Cubs vs. Red Sox. Can you imagine it? Well, imagining it is all any of us will get to do, now. And really, I suppose I can come up with less interesting things than a Yankees-Marlins World Series. Okay, so I'm lying.

"Heartbeat, it's a lovebeat. And a lovebeat is a good vibration. Heartbeat, it's a lovebeat. And when we meet, it's a good sensation." Thirty years later, these words still ring true. And if you happen to be asking "Hey, what ever happened to the DeFranco Family?" right now, you'll be pleased to know they have their own web site. Make sure you click on the photo album, where you'll see Tony DeFranco standing next to his Dodge Viper. Hey, those residuals must still be rolling in.

A recent study conducted by Boston's Children's Hospital concluded that obese kids eat more food than normal-sized kids. Obese children, the study said, "stuff themselves even more ravenously than other youngsters do, and are less able to compensate by eating sparingly the rest of the day." Hmmm. So the kids gain weight because they eat too much. This is indeed a startling conclusion. You know, I've often felt there's a correlation between excessive liquor consumption and alcoholism. I know, I know, I really shouldn't make such a radical claim without first conducting a study to determine if it's true. But that's just the kind of guy I am: a risk-taker.

As a natural cynic, I tend to pooh-pooh... well, everything. And, I usually dislike blogs that sound like diaries. But I have to break the rules this once, and take a moment to say how much I like two shows currently on Spike TV. This admission is all the more distasteful for me, since Spike is called "The first station for men," which really makes me feel like it's Lifetime with testosterone. But I digress. The two Spike entries I quite enjoy are: 1) "The Joe Schmo Show," an elaborate reality show spoof. Only one of the "contestants" is an actual contestant; everyone else on the show is an actor. Despite the fact that this show was obviously dreamed up immediately after someone saw a rerun of "The Truman Show" on late night HBO, the setups are hilarious. And, the particular "Joe Schmo" who isn't in on the joke comes off as fairly likeable: I find myself rooting for him to rise above the tricks everyone is playing on him, and he usually does. 2) Truly one of the hands-down funniest things ever shown on television, "Most Extreme Challenge" is a japanese game show dubbed in English. But it's oh-so-much more than that; you simply have to experience it to understand.

Yes, folks, it's true. Herr Schwarzenegger woke up this morning Governor of California. Guess it just goes to show you don't have to be smart, or talented, or well-spoken, or considerate, or even particularly likable to be a politician. I smell a new career in my future. On a related note, if we live in a world where The Terminator is Governor of California, let's hope we also live in a world where the Chicago Cubs and the Boston Red Sox meet in the World Series.

The National Women's Law Center and the Center for Women's Health at Oregon Health & Science University have just released a new study called "Women and Smoking." The study, ostensibly aimed at measuring how effective individual states have been at curbing smoking among women (a worthwhile cause, to be sure), unfortunately falls into the "ugly research" category in my book. And what is "ugly research," you ask? It's research that knows its conclusion before the study ever starts--or, in a word, it's propaganda. Hey, there's nothing wrong with propaganda, except when it tries to mask itself as "research." Consider this sentence from a story about the study in question: The study gave Montana a grade of "F" and ranked the state 35th among the states. Only two states -- Utah and Hawaii -- received a "satisfactory minus" grade. The nation as a whole failed. So let me get this straight: only two states in the ENTIRE UNION "passed" this study's test, and then only with "Satisfactory Minus" grades? Hey, that's fine--the National Women's Law Center and Oregon Health & Science University can say whatever they want, and get out the word about our country's miserable failures when it comes to stopping smoking. Just don't try to mask your opinions as impartial research. That smacks of exactly what the tobacco industry has done for years with its research: "Hey, we need to show smoking isn't a health hazard. Let's hire this scientist for a lot of money to create a study that proves it."