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{ August 29, 2003 }
:: Madonna Completes Her Quest ::
The big news at last night's MTV Video Music Awards was Madonna offering Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera open-mouthed lip locks. Apparently, this was big news because Britney and Christina were the last two people on earth Madonna had not French-kissed, so her quest is now complete. Meanwhile, in global news far less-important than Madonna's spit-swapping, North Korea has vowed to begin testing nuclear weapons. Now, back to Madonna.
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{ August 28, 2003 }
:: How to Handle Disputes With Your Landlord ::
 On July 5, 2002, Richard Vernes was angry about being evicted from his apartment. Feeling it might be good to get some things off his chest, he decided to air a few compaints. So he covered his face in warpaint, put some feathers in his hair, grabbed a large knife and went upstairs to scalp his landlord. If history has taught us anything, it's this: attempting to scalp your landlord while wearing warpaint is a poor negotiation strategy. It's much better to do your scalping without warpaint.
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{ August 26, 2003 }
:: Coping with Newsweek Hype ::
 The August 14 Edition of Newsweek Magazine shows a dark New York skyline, with the dual headlines of "What Went Wrong" and "How America Coped." I'll tell you how I coped: I went to my refrigerator, popped the top off of another Bayern Amber, and went back to watching television. Yes, New York City is a symbol of America in general. Yes, the blackout happened across the Northeast and parts of Canada. No, that doesn't make it a national event. More than 225 million Americans coped with the big blackout by doing: absolutely nothing. We didn't need to, because we weren't part of the blackout. So is Newsweek overhyping, or are just being egocentric by assuming things that happen to their NYC staffers happened to everyone? Put it this way: I've yet to see a Newsweek cover story talking about "How America Copes" with the wildfires burning across the Western US. This is a problem more serious, costly and ongoing than the isolated instance of the blackout, but is Newsweek willing to claim it as an "American" event? Nah, that's regional--it happens to those folks out West. I'm not trying to diminish the problems caused by the blackout, but come on. Let's save the national emergencies for, well, national emergencies.
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{ August 25, 2003 }
:: Startling Discoveries in Montana Politics ::
 
With a tip of the hat to "Spy" magazine, I ask you: Jimmy Neutron's Teacher Mrs. Fowl and Montana's Governor Judy Martz: Separated at birth?
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