I'm not an expert on many things. But I can play a mean air guitar. Back in my teenage years, along with a couple of good friends, I was an undefeated 3-0 in air guitar competitions, in which we performed songs by ZZ Top ("Sharp Dressed Man," "Gimme All Your Lovin'," and "Tush," to be specific).

No, really. When I tell many folks this, they seem to think I'm joking. But we won, I dunno, a couple hundred dollars and a big ol' boombox in one county-wide competition.

Why did I do such a thing? Well, because I couldn't play the real thing. I've always loved music, but I haven't a lick (a little guitar pun there) of musical talent or ability. Can't read music, can't sing, can't play an instrument. About all I can do is turn up the volume on my iPod so I can't hear myself--which makes me sound amazingly good right now as I'm singing tunes from the Silversun Pickups' "Carnavas" album.

So when my friend Jennifer Larsen sent me a link to the new "Wearable Instrument: Guitar" shirt, why, it brought a tear to my eye. At last, we air guitar purists can have instruments of our very own. According to a press release from Csiro, the Australian company that developed the product, "...(the) ‘wearable instrument shirt’ (WIS)...enables users to play an ‘air guitar’ simply by moving one arm to pick chords and the other to strum the imaginary instrument’s strings."

Later in the release, the company says, "It’s an easy-to-use, virtual instrument that allows real-time music making--even by players without significant musical or computing skills.”

Hey, that's me.

No word on pricing or availability of the final product yet, but I'm all over this. I'm thinking if readings, signings or other book-related events in the future start to bomb, I can switch modes and play my version of the Pixies' "Tony's Theme."