Evidently, the people putting together the autographing schedule for Book Expo America have been foolish to give me one of their tables for one hour: from 4:30 to 5:30 pm on Saturday, May 20th, I'll be signing copies of Waking Lazarus at table #16 in the Autographing Area.

If you're a bookseller, librarian or interested reader attending the show, I'd love to see you drop by and say "hi" while I'm there. Or heck, say "hi" any time during the show.

When you take a peek at the Autographing Schedule, you'll some pretty big names on the list: Joyce Carol Oates, James Rollins, Joel C. Rosenberg, Dave Barry, Ridley Pearson, Bill Bennett, Jerry B. Jenkins, James Patterson, James Byron Huggins, Whitley Strieber and Duke, the spokesdog for Bush's Baked Beans.

Duke! The spokesdog for Bush's Baked Beans! I've hit the big time.

Okay, so it looks like I'll be hitting the autographing area more than a few times myself. I mean, come on, free autographed books from people such as Joyce Carol Oates and James Rollins? I'm there.

Which brings up something of a dilemma for me. I'm signing at 4:30 on Saturday--which just happens to be at the exact same time as F. Paul Wilson and Dennis Lehane. FPW will be signing his new "Repairman Jack" book, and Dennis Lehane will be signing his new collection of short stories. Now, it's obviously nice to be able to say, "Hey, I'm doing a signing with Dennis Lehane and F. Paul Wilson." Of course, neither of them knew they'd be signing at the same time as I, but that's not a detail I need to share, is it? But here's the problem: I really, really want signed copies of their books. Think I can sneak to their tables early or late and get books? Probably not. Maybe I could put a sign on my table that says, "Back in Five Minutes," then go stand in their lines.

I'm kidding, of course. You can bet anyone who even comes near my table and glances my direction is getting a free book--whether they ask for one or not. And even though I'm quite thrilled to be signing at the same time as FPW and Lehane, I'm rather certain none of us will have the most popular table in the 4:30-5:30 slot. That distinction, I believe, will go to table #2, which will feature Violet Blue signing copies of her book, "Fetish Sex: An Erotic Guide for Couples."

No, really. Check the schedule for yourself.