I've been holding my breath for some time now, waiting for Advance Reading Copies (ARCs) of WAKING LAZARUS to hit the streets.

A couple months, actually, I've been waiting. Long time to go without breathing.

And I'm happy to say ARCs of WAKING LAZARUS are now hitting said streets with a nice, satisfying thunk. A few of the authors who have been kind enough to read the book for a possible endorsement have contacted me to let me know they've received their copies, so that's nice.

Only problem is, I, the guy who wrote the blessed thing, have not seen a copy yet. Granted, it's not like wandering into the local book store and seeing your book on the shelf (not that I know what that feels like, but it's something I'm certainly looking forward to), but holding a copy of YOUR book in YOUR hands...well, that's got to be a moment to look forward to, as well, doesn't it?

So, sometime in the next few days, I should have a few ARCs, and I'm excited to have a chance to actually read the book the way most people will be reading it. Almost experiencing it for the first time, actually, because truth be told, I haven't sat down and read it straight through since...I don't know when. Also, I'm looking forward to hearing what other folks have to say about the book; after all, at this point, fewer than probably a dozen people have read WAKING LAZARUS.

But then, well, there's the other side of that coin. True mixed emotions, because even as I look forward to the ARC stage, I dread it just a bit as well. (Mike Duran told me I was starting to sound like Woody Allen in these overly-confessional posts. My response was: "What do you mean starting to? I've always been this neurotic.")

Well, not really neurotic. More like...okay, neurotic.

A part of my is terrified to have people read the book. People who know me, reading it and hoping to find something of themselves in there. (Some will.) People who know the locations, reading it and looking for errors in geography or history. (Let's just say I took great liberties with the locations.) People who don't know me at all, reading it and thinking I might have serious issues with my mother, my father, hospitals or mice. (Love mom and dad, jury's still out on hospitals, let's not talk about mice.) And finally, other authors and reviewers reading it, closing the book after 50 pages, and saying, "They're publishing this?" (I've asked the question myself, and my only response is: proof positive God still works miracles.)

And folks, let's not forget, we're just at the ARC stage right now. Not sure I'll make it to the day when I actually see the book on the shelf.

My fingernails certainly won't, at any rate.

(UPDATE: Came home for a quick lunch just before hitting the road for a few days, and what should be stuffed into my mailbox but a package containing ARCs? I'm all verklempt--more thoughts when I've had a chance to savor the feeling.)