The Billings Gazette tells us work on Tiara, a planned entertainment/restaurant/retail complex in front of Rimrock Mall, is back on track after numerous delays. "While all this [referring to the delays] was going on, instead of pouting, we redesigned it," says the project's developer.

And what, pray tell, have they designed? A restaurant/lounge/theater to be called the 12th Planet Entertainment Complex, using a design scheme the developer calls "Stargate" meets "Aliens." Because, you know, nothing connotes fine dining ambience quite like the lair of lock-jawed monsters dripping acidic spoor. The developer even provided a concept illustration of the space, which looks to me like the wet dream of 15-year-old boy who worships Satan and Ozzy with equal fervor.

But wait folks. That's not all you'll get at Tiara and/or the 12th Planet Entertainment Complex:

On the ground floor, there would be a casino with 20 gaming machines, with a spaceship-looking contraption hanging from the ceiling and holding plasma TVs that people could watch while gambling.

This is important because, as we all know, those folks who play keno and video poker are huge--huge--Sci Fi fans. I can't tell you how many times I've walked through Montana casinos and been greeted with the Vulcan hand signal by avid keno enthusiasts.

The main attraction would be the restaurant-lounge, where as many as 1,000 people could be seated on three tiers for meals or to watch entertainment on a 30-by-20-foot stage, with 15-foot wings on either side and a 28-by-14-foot LED screen behind the stage. The screen could be used for showing videos or for projecting live footage of whatever offering is on stage.

[The developer] said the main stage and two smaller stages on the upper levels could host a wide variety of entertainment, from pop concerts to jazz groups, comedy nights to car shows. He said he plans to hire and train eight "Tiara girls" who would provide professional choreography as a backup to the stage shows.

Hey, why not? If the guy can design and develop entertainment complexes, he can certainly train lap dancers--er, I mean "professionally choreographed performers."

"I've been to a lot of clubs in my life, but I've never seen anything like this anywhere," [the developer] said. "I hate to say it's just like Vegas because it's even different from that. It's like Disney."

Disney. Yeah, it's just like that.