In what has to go down as one of the most imaginative practical jokes of all time, Japanese officials have discovered a Japanese-to-English dictionary that offers deliberately fake translations of common phrases. Japanese tourists who consult the book are told the way to ask for directions to a bathroom is "Excuse me, may I caress your buttocks?"

The story at Yahoo Entertainment News also recounts some of 2,300 reported incidents wherein the book has put tourists abroad in jeopardy, including the 29-year-old man visiting San Francisco who meant to ask a store clerk, "May I please have film for my camera?" Instead, he said, "Would you place your copious breasts in my mouth?" His answer was a slap in the face. One has to wonder what his reaction would have been if the clerk had said "yes" and complied.

Unfortunately (or fortunately, if you're the kind of person who appreciates crude humor), incidents like this will probably continue for some time. According to Japanese officials, more than 50,000 copies of the dictionary have been sold, and even though the book has been pulled off shelves, bargain-conscious travelers can still buy them at used bookstores.

So, the next time a Japanese tourist approaches you and says, "I know martial arts. May I kick your ass?" don't be alarmed. He's just asking for directions uptown.